Once Upon a Tomb: Gravely Humorous Verses
by J. Patrick Lewis; illustrated by Simon Bartram
I thought about saving this until Halloween, then thought, heck, it's Friday the 13th. Close enough.
Besides, you might want advance notice. That way, if your kids let slip one of these morbidly funny epitaphs from under their fright masks, you won't think there's something odd in their apple cider.
Lewis aims his poison pen at a bully, a movie star and a food critic, among many other not-so-dearly departed.
Though maybe your kid is a tad young to understand the delicious justice in the Book Editor's epitaph:
She lived on
But the Underwear Salesman should evoke an evil chortle:
Bartram adds a dash of the surreal to his somber hues and pallid faces, using acrylics to achieve an amazing degree of exactness and detail right down to the array of coffin tattoos on a cadaver's foot. Think Edward Gorey meets Magritte.
Creepy stuff. Brrrr.