Many times over the past three years I've looked at my stats and cringed. Poor Book Buds, stuck in single digits for months after its birth. Then the slow creep upwards. Twelve page views a day. Thirty-five. Then a hundred. Yes!
And then ... nothing. A baby. A cross-country move. A death in the family. One hiatus after another after still another. I'd claw and scratch my way back from oblivion, just to see it nosedive as real life butted in. My hard work would evaporate in lost subscribers and inattentive fans. Tomorrow will mark this blog's third year, and the third time I've had to ask hard questions about what I wanted from it and why.
While Book Buds would languish during those intermissions, I'd watch other kids crash this party and steal the cute readers I'd been chatting up feverishly. But most never knew I existed. The green-eyed monster set up residence under my keyboard.
But I had only myself to blame. After all, I'd walked away from Inland Empress, which had a high of 500 hits a day when many future Mommy bloggers weren't Mommies yet, let alone bloggers. Where would that blog be today, if I'd kept at it? I don't let myself go there.
Focus, I tell myself, even now. I wanted a blog that fed my career, not my ego. Reviews only. No Q&As, no news, no personal meanderings. I sometimes stray from that path (this essay is proof) but my footing is still solid.
Each time I came back, it was with renewed purpose and vigor. That's easier when you can be single-minded and not scattershot, lemme tell ya.