Book Buds Kidlit Reviews

Avast ye ... uh, whatever

Pirates Don't Change Diapers
by Melinda Long; illustrated by David Shannon

Sick of pirate books? Me neither. And you know if David Shannon's the illustrator, it must be deliciously awful. The pirates must look extra smelly and weirdly ugly, but in a totally non-scary way.

And so they do, in this sequel to a book I never read but wish I had. Little Jeremy Jacob has blue eyes as big as saucers, and they get even rounder when his pirate buddies show up looking for the treasure they buried in his yard.

Mom's out running errands. Dad and the baby are napping. Okay, make that just Dad.

You can probably figure out the plot from here as the pirates go nuts trying to keep wee Bonney Anne quiet long enough to dig up their loot. But does anyone ever buy a pirate book for its plot? Pirates ... treasure ... that pretty much sums things up.

Long blithely sticks in a few anachronisms, which Shannon zealously exploits, for a few zings and groaners that parents will get sooner than kids. It's sorta like the criticism of Shrek--it parodies meta-stories that kids haven't read yet. So how do you explain its humor?

Aw, never mind. Shannon's art is so malevolently cunning, such a seemless combination of messy and bright, detailed and chaotic, and so chock-full of visual gags that the book's a can't miss.

Rating: *\*\*\

SEA WEEK Avast, ye puppies!

Fluffy, Scourge of the Sea

by Teresa Bateman; illustrated by Michael Chesworth

What better way to celebrate both Poetry Friday and the grand finale of Sea Week than with a poem about pirates?

Okay, so this book has been out for over a year, but my hubby won't let me give it away. I've tried. He repeatedly fished it out of bags meant first for Katrina victims, my Mommy friends, and a literacy program. It's the book that won't leave.

Using standard-issue quatrains with frequent lapses in meter and rhymes that only occasionally surprise, Bateman still manages to create one of the more memorable buccaneers to prowl the Seven Seas.

Fluffy's a preening poodle captured unawares on his yacht by a shipload of canine brigands. Rather than cower with his tail between his legs, he strikes a fierce pose and insists he's also a pirate, and both the yacht and all his tasty kibble are really loot.

He challenges the burly, bulldog of a captain for his ship, and the two opposites match off in a funny sequence that leaves the growling sea dog, well, out to sea. Fluffy then gives the ship and its flea-bitten crew a makeover, teaching them how a few manners will more easily fill their bellies -- not to mention getting a few good belly rubs.

What am I to make of this? Perhaps inside every ornery cur is a lapdog scratching to come out. Or that scurvy strays need love too. Or that even sporting a big, pink bow in your hat doesn't make you less of a man, er, mutt.

I really don't know. I really don't care. It's fun anyway.

Rating: *\*\

A buccaneer birthday

Olive's Pirate Party

by Roberta Baker; illustrated by Debbie Tilley

No little girl should grow up without a great Aunt Tiffany to take her to the opera and serve a proper cup of tea. But can she host a pirate party? Olive’s turning seven and her favorite great aunt’s offered to host her birthday bash. Olive frets her plans have “walked the plank.”

Never underestimate those geezers, though. Aunt Tiff has a few things to teach her little niece about love, not to mention kick-ass buccaneer costumes.

This is a sequel to “No Ordinary Olive,” and part of a universe of characters that includes Lizard Walinsky of an eponymous title. I haven’t read others in this series, but this one’s harmless and charming enough, evoking an “awww” or two.

Rating: *\*\