DadTalk

Happy Mother’s Day!

Our celebration will be somewhat subdued this year. My wife’s schedule makes it hard to make breakfast in bed – she gets up around noon. Or 1 p.m. Or 10 a.m. We never really know on the weekends. And of course our finances are tight this year.

Making the day kind of weird, two of Lael’s playmates inexplicably scheduled a birthday party for the afternoon. I had planned to skip it, but Anne told the parents we’d be there. (I suspect my wife wasn’t aware it was on Mother’s Day.)

In the evening, I’m taking the whole family, including my mom, out for dinner. Besides flowers, the only other present this year are movie tickets.

Hope you all have a wonderful Mothers Day!

Flower Power Winners It Was a Tough Call; Find the 20% Off, Free Vase Coupon

While contests tend to give my blog a small boost, I find learning about other people more rewarding. Consider that most of the stories I received about why a loved one deserves flowers reveal a bit about what is going on in America in a way that the media fails to capture.

Below are a quote or two from one runners-up and the winners, who will be notified by email. And for those of you who read this far, I have another surprise. By clicking on this link, you will receive 20 percent off and a free vase if you order flowers from ProFlowers. (Yes, another ad, but what the heck.)

And now, for the winners:

Flower Giveaway 5 Best Stories Win $70 Gift Code for Valentine’s

NOTE: This contest is now closed. Results coming soon.

 That pesky holiday, Valentine’s Day is coming up again. I’m sure many men see the day much like I do: a holiday created by the Greeting Card Company.

On the other hand, savvy married men also know there is a greater truth: ignore the holiday at your own peril. That’s because right or wrong, most women I’ve met over the years want to be romanced, whether it be with flowers, candy, a spa treatment, jewelry, etc.

Another truth: I suspect a lot of married men would love to save their Valentine’s money for a new Blackberry, basketball tickets or rent.

Happy Birthday Hon, Now Make Your Own Dinner

While out on a short hike a few weeks ago, I came across a small mall near our house. Sadly, the tough economy has left a lot of storefronts empty. In fact, Scottsdale seems to have more retail and office space available or under construction than I’ve ever seen anywhere before.

Because it was early morning, most of the stores were closed, but I did pick up a flyer in front of the Classic Cooking Academy with the idea of future classes for my kids.

Instead, my eye caught the headline “Date Night – in the Bistro,” a hands-on class where you cook your own dinner. It just so happened to be on my wife’s birthday. Importantly, wine was included in the course.

The light bulb came on and I arranged a very fun birthday date. I am fortunate that my wife considers a cooking class a great birthday present. Just watch out for that knife.

A Toy for Dad’s Day

In recent years, I’ve said no to gifts on Father’s Day and even my birthday. We have enough financial pressures – and clutter – as it is.

Yesterday, though, my wife surprised me with a handheld Play Station – God of War edition. Part of the fun for me is figuring out how these things work without looking at the instructions. I only looked at one page – to enter my name in – before I was blasting away.

Seth was fascinated by the machinery while Lael was fascinated by the game. I refused to play such a violent game in their presence though. I will have to find a few games they can play. Perhaps there is a train simulation game? Is Hot Shots Golf Open Tee good for small kids? Any other recommendations?

I told my wife this was the biggest surprise gift I’ve ever received and I’m not kidding. I’ll be the first to admit it’s not easy to buy gifts for me.

EcoMoms Is a Small, Positive Step Toward Saving Earth

February in Chicago is all about blah. Extreme cold, the flu, rain and snow, and cabin fever all conspire to banish happy feelings. Even the news media tends to be more surly.

So it’s nice to see a positive story for a change. This one brings to light ‘EcoMoms,’ parents who get together to discuss living in environmentally-friendly ways. Writes The New YorkTimes:

The women gathered in the airy living room, wine poured and pleasantries exchanged. In no time, the conversation turned lively – not about the literary merits of Geraldine Brooks or Cormac McCarthy but the pitfalls of antibacterial hand sanitizers and how to retool the laundry using only cold water and biodegradable detergent during non-prime-time energy hours (after 7 p.m.).

Move over, Tupperware. The EcoMom party has arrived, with its ever-expanding “to do” list that includes preparing waste-free school lunches; lobbying for green building codes; transforming oneself into a “locovore,” eating locally grown food; and remembering not to idle the car when picking up children from school (if one must drive). Here, the small talk is about the volatile compounds emitted by dry-erase markers at school.

Yeah, I realize a lot of folk will make fun of these wealthy moms – I can hear the Left Coast jokes already – but I for one find hope in the idea that there are other people out there who worry about toxic gases coming from Calico Rose (red)-painted walls.

The EcoMom Alliance already has 9,000 members nationwide and is creating its own niche in the blogosphere. Here are some key sites:

• EcoMom
• A Shade of Green
• Eco-Chick

If you expect gruff men will make fun of these woman, who apparently suffer from what has been coined “ecoanxiety,” you probably would be correct. That’s because women generally express higher levels of environmental concern than men, according to Riley Dunlap, a professor of sociology at Oklahoma State University.

But I’m with the women on this on. Maybe I can persuade them to rename their group the EcoParents Alliance?

Anti-Depressants, New Cholesterol Drugs May not Be All That Great

When it comes to health, I’ve been very fortunate: most of my problems have been limited to colds, occasional stomach bugs and stubbed toes. I say fortunate, because the few times I’ve ever run to the medicine cabinet, I’ve experienced nasty side effects.

Aspirin hurts my stomach. Painkillers dehydrate me. Penicillin causes my shoulders and neck to break out in a rash.

So I rarely take drugs. I even avoid vitamins. Still, it’s good to know that modern science provides a slew of options should I need them. Insulin for diabetes and antibiotics really work.

Because of this, most of us believe that antidepressants and anti-cholesterol drugs work as well.  Perhaps we are mistaken.

It turns out that pharmaceutical companies never bothered to publish the full story about antidepressants, reports The New York Times:

Overheard

My wife, Anne, sent me this e-mail:

Subject: How reverse psychology works

Anne: You hungry? You want an apple?

Lael: No! Want cheese crackers.

Anne: No cheese crackers. Apple.

Lael: No apple! Cheese crackers.

Anne: Okay, no apple. I’m putting it away. No apple for Lael. (Hide apple behind back).

Lael: Apple! Apple!

Anne: You sure?

Lael: My eat it.

She ate half the apple, of course

I Learn of My Failings in The New York Times

I can be pretty dense, especially when it comes to people’s needs. I simply fail to hear what is being said to me.

Case in point is a story called “A Bundle of Joy Isn’t Enough?” by The New York Times.

It’s all about how wonderful dads happily buy deserving moms fantastic baubles as a thank you for carrying and delivering each child. Linda Murray, executive editor of BabyCenter.com explains to The Times:

“It’s more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on.”

Adds Sandra Miller of Arlington, Mass:

“Women can and do expect a thoughtful token of appreciation. It’s a way to honor a mother giving her emotions, body and hormones over to a baby for nine months, culminating in an experience which, when done naturally, redefines the meaning of pain. And when not done naturally, it’s still an act of sacrifice.”

After writing a particularly clever post, I asked my wife what she thought about this budding tradition. Boy, did I get an earful on this one.

States Often Keep Most of Poor Dads’ Child-Support Payments

Some policies make so much sense you just want to pin a blue ribbon on the government officials that thought them up. Take for example, the collection of child-support payments from absent fathers, most of which state governments keep.

Why would a state hunt down a delinquent dad, garnish his wages and then keep some of the money meant for his wife and kids? Because those wife and kids are a welfare burden on the government of course. I guess getting mom and the kids off of welfare by passing the money directly to them is counterintuitive.

If you think I’m making this up, read this confusing article in The New York Times, which reveals that about half the states keep ALL of the child-support payments to parents on welfare. In most of the other states, about $50 a month actually makes it to the parents.

While studies show dad is more likely to pay if he knows the money is going directly to his family rather than funding welfare programs, states don’t know how to break their addiction.

And while the Bush Administration was planning on fixing the problem, budget woes shifted the child-support enforcement burden back on the states. Translation: States don’t feel particularly motivated to give dads’ money back to spouse and kids anytime soon.

Let’s give a big round of applause to lawmakers who keep these family-unfriendly policies in place.