DadTalk

EcoMoms Is a Small, Positive Step Toward Saving Earth

February in Chicago is all about blah. Extreme cold, the flu, rain and snow, and cabin fever all conspire to banish happy feelings. Even the news media tends to be more surly.

So it’s nice to see a positive story for a change. This one brings to light ‘EcoMoms,’ parents who get together to discuss living in environmentally-friendly ways. Writes The New YorkTimes:

The women gathered in the airy living room, wine poured and pleasantries exchanged. In no time, the conversation turned lively – not about the literary merits of Geraldine Brooks or Cormac McCarthy but the pitfalls of antibacterial hand sanitizers and how to retool the laundry using only cold water and biodegradable detergent during non-prime-time energy hours (after 7 p.m.).

Move over, Tupperware. The EcoMom party has arrived, with its ever-expanding “to do” list that includes preparing waste-free school lunches; lobbying for green building codes; transforming oneself into a “locovore,” eating locally grown food; and remembering not to idle the car when picking up children from school (if one must drive). Here, the small talk is about the volatile compounds emitted by dry-erase markers at school.

Yeah, I realize a lot of folk will make fun of these wealthy moms – I can hear the Left Coast jokes already – but I for one find hope in the idea that there are other people out there who worry about toxic gases coming from Calico Rose (red)-painted walls.

The EcoMom Alliance already has 9,000 members nationwide and is creating its own niche in the blogosphere. Here are some key sites:

• EcoMom
• A Shade of Green
• Eco-Chick

If you expect gruff men will make fun of these woman, who apparently suffer from what has been coined “ecoanxiety,” you probably would be correct. That’s because women generally express higher levels of environmental concern than men, according to Riley Dunlap, a professor of sociology at Oklahoma State University.

But I’m with the women on this on. Maybe I can persuade them to rename their group the EcoParents Alliance?

Anti-Depressants, New Cholesterol Drugs May not Be All That Great

When it comes to health, I’ve been very fortunate: most of my problems have been limited to colds, occasional stomach bugs and stubbed toes. I say fortunate, because the few times I’ve ever run to the medicine cabinet, I’ve experienced nasty side effects.

Aspirin hurts my stomach. Painkillers dehydrate me. Penicillin causes my shoulders and neck to break out in a rash.

So I rarely take drugs. I even avoid vitamins. Still, it’s good to know that modern science provides a slew of options should I need them. Insulin for diabetes and antibiotics really work.

Because of this, most of us believe that antidepressants and anti-cholesterol drugs work as well.  Perhaps we are mistaken.

It turns out that pharmaceutical companies never bothered to publish the full story about antidepressants, reports The New York Times:

Overheard

My wife, Anne, sent me this e-mail:

Subject: How reverse psychology works

Anne: You hungry? You want an apple?

Lael: No! Want cheese crackers.

Anne: No cheese crackers. Apple.

Lael: No apple! Cheese crackers.

Anne: Okay, no apple. I’m putting it away. No apple for Lael. (Hide apple behind back).

Lael: Apple! Apple!

Anne: You sure?

Lael: My eat it.

She ate half the apple, of course

I Learn of My Failings in The New York Times

I can be pretty dense, especially when it comes to people’s needs. I simply fail to hear what is being said to me.

Case in point is a story called “A Bundle of Joy Isn’t Enough?” by The New York Times.

It’s all about how wonderful dads happily buy deserving moms fantastic baubles as a thank you for carrying and delivering each child. Linda Murray, executive editor of BabyCenter.com explains to The Times:

“It’s more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on.”

Adds Sandra Miller of Arlington, Mass:

“Women can and do expect a thoughtful token of appreciation. It’s a way to honor a mother giving her emotions, body and hormones over to a baby for nine months, culminating in an experience which, when done naturally, redefines the meaning of pain. And when not done naturally, it’s still an act of sacrifice.”

After writing a particularly clever post, I asked my wife what she thought about this budding tradition. Boy, did I get an earful on this one.

States Often Keep Most of Poor Dads’ Child-Support Payments

Some policies make so much sense you just want to pin a blue ribbon on the government officials that thought them up. Take for example, the collection of child-support payments from absent fathers, most of which state governments keep.

Why would a state hunt down a delinquent dad, garnish his wages and then keep some of the money meant for his wife and kids? Because those wife and kids are a welfare burden on the government of course. I guess getting mom and the kids off of welfare by passing the money directly to them is counterintuitive.

If you think I’m making this up, read this confusing article in The New York Times, which reveals that about half the states keep ALL of the child-support payments to parents on welfare. In most of the other states, about $50 a month actually makes it to the parents.

While studies show dad is more likely to pay if he knows the money is going directly to his family rather than funding welfare programs, states don’t know how to break their addiction.

And while the Bush Administration was planning on fixing the problem, budget woes shifted the child-support enforcement burden back on the states. Translation: States don’t feel particularly motivated to give dads’ money back to spouse and kids anytime soon.

Let’s give a big round of applause to lawmakers who keep these family-unfriendly policies in place.

I Am Dad

See All the ‘I Am Dad’ Comics by Clicking Here
By William Mastin

Here’s What Burt’s Bees E-Mailed My Wife About Lead in Lipstick

When it comes to lead in our home, we’ve had a few near misses with lead-laden toys. The Dora toys had me most worried because those were the ones I saw Lael repeatedly put in her mouth.

But I never guessed that there was a threat from Anne’s purse: Burt’s Bees lipstick, which Lael is drawn to much as the proverbial fly to honey. While I didn’t like Lael playing with the lipsticks, it was mostly because of the mess she made, not fear of metal poisoning.

I bought my wife a half dozen Burt’s Bees lipsticks a few months ago because the company espouses the same principles we try to live by: healthy, natural living. (Which, by the way, is darn near impossible in the city when you are financially strapped all the time and your kids have a zillion toys.)

Here’s what Burt’s Bees has to say on its website:

Arguing Reveals Heart Risk, Especially in Women

My wife and I don’t argue that much. Occasionally we snap at each other about this irritant or that, but rarely do we engage in a true fight.

When we do let loose, we both express ourselves freely. In other words, we say what we’re thinking.

It turns out that it is good for married women to get their feelings off their chests, reports The New York Times. Women who keep quiet during fights were four times as likely to die over a 10-year period in this latest Framingham, Mass., Heart Study. Whether the woman was happy or not in the marriage didn’t effect the outcome, the study found.

“When you’re suppressing communication and feelings during conflict with your husband, it’s doing something very negative to your physiology, and in the long term it will affect your health,” Elaine Eaker, an epidemiologist and the study’s lead author, told the Times. “This doesn’t mean women should start throwing plates at their husbands, but there needs to be a safe environment where both spouses can equally communicate.”

So should men express their feelings or keep quiet? Apparently, it doesn’t matter for their own health, the study says.

Instead, men who adopt a controlling argument style are more likely to face increased heart risk. Here’s an example of a controlling husband speaking to wife about money: “You really should just listen to me on this.”

I would have a heart attack if I talked that way, because my wife would throw a plate at me.

But talking mean to your wife is more likely to hurt her, the study found. Saying something like “Did you pass elementary school math?” during an argument about money does more harm than just hurt feelings. Words like that kill.

Top Reasons for Arguing

	Women	Men
Children	9.7%	5.6
Sex	7.1	9.1
Housework	8.7	4.2
Money	8.5	6.2
Leisure	8.1	6.2
Alcohol	7.2	4.4

Moms of the World

Thanks for having us.

My Poor Wife (and I’m Not talking About Money)

This post is an apology to my wife. No, no, it’s not what you think – I haven’t cheated or smashed up the car. It’s just that while I am at work, Anne has to contend with two sick kids and her own cold while I play with spreadsheets and Customer Relations Management systems.

Don’t worry about what a CRM is. It’s not important to your life. Well, I suppose my life story isn’t all that important to your life, but you come to read anyway.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, and apology to my wife. Rather than explain it myself, just read this e-mail I received from Anne:

Re: Buena Park tots mark most destructive day ever, Mom says

CHICAGO (AP) – A preschooler who persuaded his mother to let him stay home from school and his toddler sister wreaked record destruction on their parents’ apartment this morning.

Seth, 4, and Lael, 20 months, waited until their mother was in the shower before dumping an entire bin of puzzles onto the floor and scattering the hundreds of pieces across three rooms. Lincoln Logs, Lego pieces, piles of books and torn pieces of pop-up books soon followed.

“If this keeps up, I’ll be eligible for FEMA funding soon,” said their mother, Anne Levy, with a sigh. “I’ve dubbed them Hurricane Lael and the Sethinator.”

Experts predict the mess will take several hours to clean up, as the kids keep getting into more mischief with every attempt at cleaning.

“It would help if Lael stopped whacking everyone with the broom,” noted Levy.

It all started with Seth insisting he was still recovering from a cold and didn’t feel up to going to preschool. Reluctantly, Levy agreed to let him stay home. But no sooner did she hop in the shower than they began to run amok.

A handyman who stopped by to fix a closet door noticed the mess.

“Hi guys!” said Handyman Nick, who fled the scene soon after fixing the door.

The kids haven’t gotten into any trouble in the past five minutes, according to their mother.

“They’re snacking, so they’re quiet,” she said. “Of course, there are now crumbs on top of the puzzle pieces, but you can’t have everything.”

Need I explain more? I apologize hon. Really, I do.