DadTalk

A Blogger Converts to Judaism

Over the years, I’ve been to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs’, but Saturday’s was unique. Blogger Leah in Chicago, who learned Hebrew in her adult years, converted to Judaism this weekend – in the same building Seth goes to preschool.

Leah did an impressive job, going through the ceremony in a clear confidant voice, unlike most 13-year-olds who usually rip through the Torah in a cracking, light-speed whisper. (Not that I’ve ever understood a word, but I’ve become a connoisseur of Hebrew that sounds good.)

Leah, who we met in person when we first arrived in Chicago, also was cracking jokes up on the Bimah. (Yes, I had to look up the spelling.) She even had the Rabbi in stitches.

We sat at the back of the sanctuary with twin sister Rayne, who is also a blogger and mommy. By the way, she graduates from law school later this year.

After the ceremony, Seth confidently was showing Rayne’s son Henry around the room before they transitioned to running around the place in circles. They seemed to get along well, until I had to yell at Seth to stop tickling Henry. (What Seth calls tickling, most human beings would take as being stabbed in the neck with fingers.)

Hopefully, the kids will get a chance to meet up again. It was nice meeting Henry, Rayne and the sisters’ mom.

And of course, congratulations Leah.

Hey, Hanukkah Is Still in Full Swing

While many bloggers such as Phil are cleaning up after Christmas, we’re still in the thick of Hanukkah.

On Sunday night, we went to the Upland menorah lighting where Seth met Judah the Maccabee, danced with Orthodox men – they don’t dance with women – and received a fragile toy helicopter that started disintegrating shortly after it came home.

The instantly beloved toy is sitting in the garage with two of the top blades uneasily glued back on to the rotor. The rear blades also broke off. I can already see that the glue isn’t going to do the trick alone. I need to fashion a splint of sorts to keep the toy in one piece.

The menorah lighting, by the way, was sponsored by the Upland Chabad, which my wife has occasionally written about. It was the first time I’ve ever attended a public, outdoor Jewish event.

If you think about it, that’s kind of odd. But then I grew up in Chicago during an era when Nazis paraded through Skokie, Illinois, each year. When I was in college at Indiana University, there also were several KKK conventions. I even sent a reporter to cover one of the rallies.

So even though I write about my hopes for the future, I’m still somewhat leery about how the media keeps declaring that Jewish is “in” this year. I guess my lifelong instincts will always find me occasionally eyeballing the parking lot to watch out for anti-Semitic hoodlums.

My wife thinks I’m a bit silly, but continuous destruction of menorahs, especially in the Northeast, leads me to believe that some anti-Semitism is alive and well:

• Baldwin, New York
• Philadelphia (I received word that wind was to blame.)
• Holbrook, New York
• Orange County, California
• New Windsor, New York
• Briarcliff Manor, New York

Then again, most of these incidents were relatively minor. The real danger to Jews seems to lie outside this country, but that’s for another post.

In the meantime, Seth also received a 50-piece Home Depot tool kit that he’s fallen in love with. It coincides nicely with a book called Tools that Seth and I have been looking at during breakfast for months. Seth likes to ask, “Is that a sharp tool?”

And Lael received a little tent for when we go to the beach, which will get lots of use starting in summer. Actually, Seth and Lael already have been enjoying it in our bedroom.

In a couple days, we’ll continue our Hanukkah celebration by heading out to Grandma’s in Scottsdale. We hope to take Seth to the Train Park again. Onward Holidays!

Intelligent Decision Unmasks Creationists

For months now, I’ve avoided the “Intelligent Design” debate that has captured the attention of lawmakers, educators, parents and politicians around the country.

I’m not actually sure why I skirted the issue, but it seemed like a local problem that the courts would throw out. Also, the issue delves deep into religion, which I tend to avoid because such arguments always seem unwinnable.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that a federal judge ruled on Tuesday that Intelligent Design is not a valid scientific theory, reports The Washington Post. U.S. District Judge John Jones clearly defined Intelligent Design as another flavor of Creationism, which already has been determined a religious belief.

And although there are millions of Americans who believe in Intelligent Design, the case is not likely to be appealed. That’s because most of the Dover, Pennsylvania, school board that created the controversy was thrown out by voters in November. The new board is very much against appealing the court decision.

Regardless of which side of this issue your on, the good news is that educators have one less thing to worry about. Let them focus on teaching our kids English, math, science and history.

Researchers Monkey Around With Learning

Chimpanzees are pretty smart. If they’re taught how to retrieve some food from a puzzle box, they’ll skip extra, meaningless steps such as tapping on the box with a stick, and go right for the prize, reports The New York Times.

Preschool children are different. If a child is shown a similar box, her/she can solve the puzzle on their own. But if a teacher shows a child, who already know how to open the box, meaningless extra steps, the child usually will incorporate them into the box opening.

Researchers expected the children to discard unnecessary steps and go right for the prize just like the monkeys. What gives?

This “overimitation” seems to set humans apart from our ape ancestors, says Yale graduate student Derek Lyons. Humans may be hard-wired this way because as tool-making became more complex, learning by imitation would seem more efficient than self-directed trial and error, Lyon speculates. If we started from scratch each generation, we would never have gone much beyond the mud hut.

I have to wonder if another factor is at play. Might not learning by imitation also help provide order to the large social groups that humans form? After all, learning to tap on the box has a certain ritual quality that many humans love.

Is it possible that this willingness to learn these bogus steps allows leaders of a social group to enforce order via dogma? Are we drawn to these extra steps simply because they comfort our need for ritualized structure?

It’s difficult for me to tell, because I’m actually repelled by ritualized structure. In fact, it has a lot to do with why I have a difficult time functioning in most organized settings. I simply can’t do things just because someone tells me I’m supposed to. I almost always skip the extra step or challenge stupid policies.

Am I the anomaly? Maybe our researchers should go beyond preschoolers and see if overimitation dissipates as children grow older. Maybe overimitation is in play only during critical learning years.

I’m also curious if our researchers controlled for the children’s environment. For example, are kids from controlling families more likely to follow rituals while those who foster a more creative environment tend to eschew the tapping on the box? We’ll need some identical twins growing up separately for that one.

Regardless, further research into this area would be useful for parents trying to maximize a child’s critical learning skills. After all, we don’t want our kids to grow up a monkey’s uncle.

Little Boy, Do Not Dash Xmas Dreams of Others*

Growing up a secular Jew in a Christian society can be hazardous to a child’s health. Well, it was for me at least.

First some background: When I was about 5 or 6 years old I asked the all-important question of my parents: why do our neighbors put up Christmas lights and we don’t? The explanation of course, was that Jews celebrate Hanukkah and that we don’t believe in Santa Claus.

“But is Santa Claus real,” I asked?

“No.”

“Oh. Then why do other kids believe in him?”

I think my parents gave me some answer, but I don’t think it satisfied me. I wasn’t traumatized by the whole thing; in fact, it was probably the first time I truly became aware that some people are different than others. I should add that I had never lived around many Jews, so I was pretty accustomed to being the odd one out all my life.

Later that year (I think) I figured out that dad was the tooth fairy. After all, if one myth was false, the other was likely to be, too.

When I caught my dad in the act, I was smart enough to feign sleep, because I figured if the imposter was revealed, I’d stop getting money. Apparently, my wizardry with money didn’t carry on to my adult years.

So how was all this hazardous to my health? Well, come second grade I was standing in line for gym class – I think we were getting weighed or something – and two boys starting arguing over whether Santa was real or not. I kept my mouth shut.

Then my friends turned to me and asked, as if the Jew kid would be the authoritative voice on the issue, “Is Santa Claus real or made up?”

You can guess what’s coming; as smart as I was to keep quiet about catching the tooth fairy in the act, I’ve always been notoriously blunt. But after I answered “no, Santa is made up” the kid who believed in Santa said with a lot of sarcasm and anger for a 7-year-old, “Oh, and I suppose you don’t believe in the tooth fairy, either?”

“Of course not,” I answered.

Boom! The kid who didn’t believe in Santa Claus burst into tears. I mean, all-out top of his lungs caterwauling. I can’t remember what the other kid was doing, but he was pretty darned upset too.

So the teacher comes up and asks what the hell is going on. I tell him, and I get my ass chewed out in a manner I never experienced up to that point in my life. The teacher didn’t yell, but said:

“Brett, you can’t be going around destroying other people’s beliefs. That was mean. You have no business interfering with their lives.” Or something like that.

“But they asked me,” I said in a very plaintive voice.

“Nevertheless, don’t do it again.”

I think the teacher reinforced this message for the next hour and the rest of the school year.

I learned a lot from that experience. I pretty much held my religious views to myself – except among shocked family members – until college. I quickly discovered students’ willingness to discuss religion, etc., were no greater at Indiana University than in second grade.

I bring this all up because a number of bloggers have been discussing Christmas issues on their sites. Phil has two great pieces here and here about the myth of Santa Claus and wrestling with what to tell his kids. And Grace asks about a neighbor’s huge front yard menorah.  *Update: Elizabeth fills in some of the blanks with this post.

Seth, by the way, has a huge fascination for Christmas lights. Both this year and last we’ve taken him around to see some of the best-decorated streets. We even strung up a single strand of lights with blue and white Stars of David sort of intertwined in the living room.

But when Seth and Lael ask someday about Santa, they’ll learn “our version” of the truth. Oddly enough, we’ll probably perpetuate the Tooth Fairy myth for a while. But I’ll be sure to warn my boy and girl, “do not dash the dreams of other children.”