If car seats were designed by toddlers, they'd feature:
- built-in snack tray that holds only chocolate and magically refills itself;
- a hydraulic arm that both flings and retrieves assorted toys and snacks;
- big, colorful buttons that light up and make real car horn noises, with the bonus of freaking out whoever's driving;
- portable Leap Frog device to teach those naughty words Mommy says in traffic;
- at least a dozen buckles that fastened and unfastened in endless combination;
- video monitor to display close-ups of all passing trucks;
- lift/lower lever with two settings -- high and really high.
If car seats were designed by actual parents, they'd feature:
- snack tray that holds only whole wheat crackers and magically refills itself;
- hydraulic arm that administers sedatives (to parent or toddler, depending);
- big, colorful buttons that hypnotize tot into catatonic state;
- portable Leap Frog device that teaches higher math skills and particle physics;
- straight-jacket style restraints;
- video monitor to display readings of child's vital signs, possible diagnosis of real or imagined ailments and treatment methods;
- lift/lower lever with two settings; out-of-sight and in-the-trunk.