The Adventures of Abdi
by Madonna; illustrated by Olga Dugina and Andrej Dugin
It’s so hard to hate an exquisitely illustrated book. Maybe I can just dwell on how the husband-wife team of Dugin/Dugina conjures a fantasy orient, mixing Middle- and Near-Eastern touches with a dash of India thrown in.
Bedouin carts brim two stories tall, a guard carries a half-dozen enormous swords, a snake charmer has a cobra's body. It's as if these scenes are so breathtaking in their sweep, they can't fit fully on the page and cram against the edges, a clever device that lets the reader feel the awe of the humble, small boy at the story's center.
Oh yeah, the story. Can't we skip this part?
There’s so many fantasy-book rule violations, I want to call Madonna offside and penalize her for life. The plot: Abdi’s an apprentice to a fabulous jeweler, Eli, and I mean that in the classic fantasy sense. The jewelry is so wondrous, people swear it brings them good fortune, though Madonna’s just finished telling us you pretty much need a fortune to afford Eli’s creations.
The king wants a bauble for the queen. It’s entrusted to naïve Abdi to carry it on the long journey to the palace – no royal courier for something so precious, no adult escort. Guess what? It’s stolen. Nooooo ...
One of the thieves’ names is El Shaydi. Get it? If you're thinking Spanish, you're in the wrong part of Madonna's brain. “El Shaddai” is a Hebrew name for “G-d Almighty,” (which I easily googled, btw).
I’m presuming either Madonna isn’t as up on her Kabbalah as she insists, or she has issues with the Big Guy left over from her “Like a Prayer” days or she’s hinting at something deep and metaphorical that never materializes.
El Shaydi substitutes a snake for the Queen’s necklace. A veiled reference to Eden? Doubt it. After Abdi’s blamed for the bait-and-switch and tossed in a dungeon, he has, um, certainty that it’ll all work out anyway. Not faith, you understand. Certainty. There's a difference, apparently.
Eli appears – voila – and magically turns the snake into the missing necklace and lectures us again about certainty. In most fantasies, simply revealing Eli as a magician is trick enough. In a story with an actual G-d in it, Eli's act would be a miracle brought about by stalwart trust in Providence, making him a prophet.
Apparently Madonna wants it both ways, minus any actual mention of a higher power, the result being a muddle of sentimentality and empty moralizing. Certainty in what? That wizards will appear when we most need them?
It’s a pity Madonna obviously never had editors courageous enough to teach her how to make fabulist fiction work without Deus ex machina. There could’ve been a compelling and amusing story here, but she undermines whatever message she intended with clumsy plot contrivances and jarring near-blasphemy.
But then, that’s Madonna for you.
Note: reviewed by Anne Levy
Rating: *\*\
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