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Monday, September 06, 2004

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I have been embattled in a divorce for 3 years. I have 3 boys ages 7,9, and 14. My ex-wife has alienated the 14 year old, is working on the 9 year old. She is by far one of the most devious women I have known. After 3 years of fighting for my rights, which included number claims of abuse (physical, drug, etc), over 32 drug test mandated (no positive results), numerous emergency motions to stop visitation (about half granted out of "caution"), countless police encounters initiated by the exwife during my visitation time (with nothing wrong), and finally the Judge Carol Lisa Phillips in Broward County Florida made the comment that she "doesn't know what to do"; a total of over 250 pleadings since approx June 2004, I am at my wits end. Her atty Roger Stanway makes unfounded remarks, pointless motions, lies in court and misrepresent facts. However, even with being confronted with the lies and misrepresentation, the court has yet to impose any sanctions against the attorney or against my ex-wife. It's a license to file without cause. The best term I heard was "serial filings". I can see my kids surcoming to my ex-wifes constant barrages of negatitities towards me along with her live in boyfriend. My 14 year old doesn't see me because of his anger towards me. My ex-wife didn't allow my kids to attend my father's funeral (their grandfather) which was explained to the 14 year old in a twisted way blaming me for their non attendance. With one son alienated, the middle son on his way, and my youngest still loving me, I am at a cross roads. My exwife is requesting over $2800 in child support which I can't afford. It's likely she'll probably get it. I have now spent $150,000 in atty's fees with $30,000 in debt. I feel if I continue the same road I loose everything I have gained back in 3 years, to the inevitable loss my kids because the court will not stop her. One by one they will slowly drop from seeing me and for what? My plight is this: release my parental rights, see my kids one last time with an explanation of why I have to do this to hope they come back; or fight, get into a financial hole that I will be hard if not impossible to get out of and then eventually loose them due to her mind games with these boys. The boys are already messed up, as seen by a counselor; however nothing has been implemented to get them into counseling. My attorney is tired, I am tired, and I have never seen a court system that has allowed so much blantant ridiculous claims to be examined without merits. I love my boys, and if anyone has had to give their kids up due to similar circumstances, please let me know what I can do to either help them to return or correct my position. I see no other choice. The idea of but being destroyed by the court slowly, and loosing my kids slowly, is horrific. I feel if my two younger boys have happy thoughts and good memories in their head about our visitation time, it may be easier for them to return or contact me if they need help. Please advise, I am truly torn.
Sincerely
Stuart Jacobs
954-415-2430
sjake64@yahoo.com

I have been embattled in a divorce for 3 years. I have 3 boys ages 7,9, and 14. My ex-wife has alienated the 14 year old, is working on the 9 year old. She is by far one of the most devious women I have known. After 3 years of fighting for my rights, which included number claims of abuse (physical, drug, etc), over 32 drug test mandated (no positive results), numerous emergency motions to stop visitation (about half granted out of "caution"), countless police encounters initiated by the exwife during my visitation time (with nothing wrong), and finally the Judge Carol Lisa Phillips in Broward County Florida made the comment that she "doesn't know what to do"; a total of over 250 pleadings since approx June 2004, I am at my wits end. Her atty Roger Stanway makes unfounded remarks, pointless motions, lies in court and misrepresent facts. However, even with being confronted with the lies and misrepresentation, the court has yet to impose any sanctions against the attorney or against my ex-wife. It's a license to file without cause. The best term I heard was "serial filings". I can see my kids surcoming to my ex-wifes constant barrages of negatitities towards me along with her live in boyfriend. My 14 year old doesn't see me because of his anger towards me. My ex-wife didn't allow my kids to attend my father's funeral (their grandfather) which was explained to the 14 year old in a twisted way blaming me for their non attendance. With one son alienated, the middle son on his way, and my youngest still loving me, I am at a cross roads. My exwife is requesting over $2800 in child support which I can't afford. It's likely she'll probably get it. I have now spent $150,000 in atty's fees with $30,000 in debt. I feel if I continue the same road I loose everything I have gained back in 3 years, to the inevitable loss my kids because the court will not stop her. One by one they will slowly drop from seeing me and for what? My plight is this: release my parental rights, see my kids one last time with an explanation of why I have to do this to hope they come back; or fight, get into a financial hole that I will be hard if not impossible to get out of and then eventually loose them due to her mind games with these boys. The boys are already messed up, as seen by a counselor; however nothing has been implemented to get them into counseling. My attorney is tired, I am tired, and I have never seen a court system that has allowed so much blantant ridiculous claims to be examined without merits. I love my boys, and if anyone has had to give their kids up due to similar circumstances, please let me know what I can do to either help them to return or correct my position. I see no other choice. The idea of but being destroyed by the court slowly, and loosing my kids slowly, is horrific. I feel if my two younger boys have thoughts in their head about their current visitation with them, it may be easier for them to return in due time. Please advise, I am truly torn.
Sincerely
Stuart Jacobs
954-415-2430
sjake64@yahoo.com

Stuart, I've seen through a relative first hand what you are going through. In the end, he had to represent himself just to get the "bare" minimum custody that he almost lost.

If the laws in Florida are similar to Illinois, where my relative lives, my suggestion is to fight as hard as you can. That's because in many states judges won't revisit custody decisions for several years after they're decided.

Keep fighting, and document everything you do. Use that to show to your children how hard you pushed to keep them a part of your life.

I think releasing your parental rights is the worst thing you can do. While you may not be able to win greater custody and may suffer financially, it seems to me that your kids will one day appreciate your fight to be there for them.

You may also want to enlist the help of Parenting rights organizations or advocates. Look on my left-hand side bar for Divorce and Dad's Rights. You might want to look into this group's lawsuit: http://www.indianacrc.org/index.html, which is fighting your case on a massive scale.

You may also want to look at this site: http://feminist4fathers.blogspot.com/


Good luck.

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