Hire Me: Americans Even Outsource Parenting Job

We apparently do not live in the age of the Do-It-Yourself Parent. Instead, many American families even outsource their parenting duties, reports The Wall Street Journal Online via Yahoo.

Here’s an example:

The burgeoning industry of services aimed at harried parents, which began with the likes of birthday-party packages at gyms and pizza shops, has expanded to the point where you can now hire someone to assist with everything from potty-training your toddler to getting your teenage daughter to agree to a passably modest prom dress. “Fussy baby” services in Chicago, Denver, Brooklyn and Oakland, Calif., help comfort shrieking babies. In the New York suburbs, an entrepreneur has built a flourishing business by taking over one of the most timeless parental rituals of all: For $60 an hour he teaches kids to ride a bike.

As someone who has looked forward to being a father all his life, all I can think is, give me a break. If you don’t want to teach your kid how to ride a bike or build his first puzzle, why on earth did you become a parent in the first place?

While I can respect getting help for dealing with a colicky child, as Sarah Cunningham did, hiring someone just to potty train your kid or teaching a little one how to draw his or her first picture with a crayon is utterly ridiculous.

On the other hand, I think I just found my new vocation. So, I’ve developed this price list:

• Changing diapers: $5 each
• Putting baby to sleep: $5 a night
• Putting toddler to sleep: $50 a night
• Teaching toddler to draw: $10 a page
• Teaching toddler to walk: $100 a week
• Potty training: $500
• Teaching child to ride bike: $600
• Being dad to my own son: priceless

Comments

[chip]

I guess it's like hiring a full-time nanny to raise your children, but at a piece-work rate. I don't like to be judgemental but I guess these parents are expecting something out of having kids that is really really different than what I want to get out of it. I can't even imagine doing most of this stuff.

By the way I think you're coming in too low on potty training, if parents aren't willing to do it themselves, I think you can up that to at least $1000, and add extra if they want a trauma-free (for the kids) potty training...

[brettdl]

Considering Seth pooped in his underwear today, I hereby increase potty training to $5,000.

[Victoria]

I really can not believe, would not believe this article if I did not see it with my own eyes.

Experts are OK (I am a recovering expert myself) but only as much as they empower parents to use the wisdom inside of them to be the parents that they are supposed to be for ther kids.

Thanks for the great post.

[brettdl]

Thanks Victoria. My goodness you're busy; I count six blogs on your profile.