We are three days into the 10-day period of atonement and the start of a new year. So it's a perfect time to reflect on the resolutions I've already broken, minor sins I just committed and various character defects I've done nothing to correct in the past 72 hours.
41. Didn't get to Rosh HaShanah services due to poor planning. Made the folks at the synagogue feel guilty enough to offer special deal for Yom Kippur, if I can cough up a few bucks for annual dues.
42. Made the nice folks at the synagogue feel guilty. Not a nice thing to do.
43. Blamed lack of willingness to pay dues on husband. Also not nice.
44. Went on a job interview the second day of Rosh HaShanah. This after making my husband take the day off so we could spend the holiday together. Oooh, bad Empress.
45. I lied! On Rosh HaShanah! I promised someone I'd write a letter and then didn't, blaming the holiday. Real reasons: busy with sick, up-all-night toddler, exhausted from sleep deprivation, not sure what to write anyway, cranky.
46. Showed off in synagogue at Sabbath services by singing louder than everyone else.
47. Violated the Sabbath by emailing a depressed friend. I was doing a good deed, doesn't that count? Okay, it could've waited until sundown. Whatever.
48. Really violated the Sabbath by playing several dozen games of Spider Solitaire. It helps me think. Really.
49. Haven't had marital relations. I've got a cold, okay? Oh shut up.
50. Did not throw away freezer full of shellfish. Just the opposite. Bought bags of shrimp gyoza from Trader Joe's and had lustful thoughts about lobster. That's it, I'm doomed.
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