Ta-dah!

I'm lost. Somewhere en route to my 40th birthday, I meandered off the proverbial road less traveled and wound up in the bland expanse of suburbia. I was supposed to have a cozy little cottage in South Florida by now, a few blocks from the Intracoastal Waterway where I could sip fruity cocktails while working on my latest literary tour de force when not cultivating rare orchids.

I have orchids. They're needy, shriveling little things who reprimand me for my neglect by withholding their blossoms, unless I'm going out of town, when they bloom ferociously for the pet sitter. I also have peace lillies and roses and fruit trees and a bunch of other flora that I lump together in the general "weed" category, along with my almost-two-year-old son, whom I've nicknamed Minitaur, as in a sweet, diminutive version of the legendary monster. Just follow the trail of crumbs.

There is my husband, whom I'll call Plosh, short for Poor Long-Suffering Husband. He swept me off my feet and plunked me down in the eastern exurbs of Los Angeles, a vast swath of strip-mall-infested desert called the Inland Empire. I've now been living here longer than I lived in Florida (four years) and I'm grateful to have lost the mosquitoes, the nasty, rude old folks and the blistering humidity. I am sorry to lose sight of the ocean, however, or the lingering smell of citrus or proximity to my family.

Sick of my wallowing, Plosh suggested this blog as an outlet. Why not? It's cheaper than therapy. And, I hope, funnier.

Thanks for dropping by. More scribblings tomorrow.

Comments

[Tassled Loafered Leech]

just found your blog from la observed. I lived in Ontario for 15 years and Claremont for 7. Just moved to Pasadena. Having been in real estate for a long time, i could tell you how the orange and lemon groves and vineyards became RC, Upland and Ontario, but it is a sad tale repeated often.

[fabooj]

I agree with TLL, we moved to CA in 1980 and lived in West Covina for 12 years. We did a spell in Upland for a couple of years and moved back to WC. I also went to school in Pomona. It's a different world out there now. At least you missed out on the worse of the cow-poop smell. BTW, I love your blog

PS. The city of Riverside and the County of San Bernardino do have ordinances that say that the new homes have to be beige with those fake Spanish tile rooves. Sorry.

[Anne]

Thanks so much for stopping by, TLL and Fabooj. I can imagine the place was lovelier back then, and certainly less congested.

Thanks too for the compliment about the blog, Fabooj. What really makes it fun are the readers.

[Ontario Emperor]

I was re-reading this entry (after commenting on your chariot) and caught your reference to the lingering smell of citrus. Ironically, if you had arrived in the Inland Empire at an earlier time, the citrus was still lingering. In 1984, the northwest corner of Euclid and Foothill in Upland, California was the site of one of the last lemon groves in the area. Today, it's a Vons parking lot.