Catch of the day

Proof that women are crazy: this man is still single. Look at him. Doesn't he look like a nice guy? Doesn't he look like he takes care of himself, has a good job, never says mean things and loves little kids? Of course he does.

He's my youngest sibling, and he graced us with a rare visit yesterday while in the region on business. My handsome baby brother (I mean, look at him, c'mon) recently split with his obviously insane girlfriend and says he's already horrified by the dating scene. He signed up for J-Date, an online matchmaking service, which apparently sorely needs a living, breathing Yenta to manage things.

Ladies, please. When he says he wants a non-smoker, is that too much to ask? He's an athlete -- a little obsessive about it, but then, look at the results. You want this man, you'll have to reduce your size-14 tush to a size 8, at least. Whatever happened to the idea of self-sacrifice? Trust me, he's worth counting carbs for.

Tall women, thirtysomething women, brainy women, women who whine all the good ones are taken -- what are you waiting for? This offer won't last!

Besides, you'd get me as a sister-in-law, isn't that inducement enough? Good! You just email me with your vital stats (IQ, education, dress size, psychiatric diagnosis) and if I like you, I'll eventually get around to forwarding your name to my ready-to-commit, Ivy-educated, professional, condo-owning, only-slightly-outside-the-beltway, metrosexual brother.

If you don't hear from me, assume it's because you're not worthy. I do have the family gene pool to consider, y'know.

Comments

[plosh]

You might want to warn serious applicants that he lives in the East Coast. ;-)

[Pam]

He'll have good luck with J-Date! Two months ago I went to the wedding of my friend Doug, who found his Bestest True Love In The Universe through J-Date. They're perfect for each other. And I know four other solid couples who met through J-Date. So that site has the good mojo workin'.

[Faith]

See, I didn't apply, because I thought he lived on the other coast. But if he comes East Coast ready, I'll throw my hat into the ring.

I'll just whip up a resume and some references and send it your way.