In the pink

Shhh . . . my husband is getting 5 pink shirts for Father's Day. Pink stripes, pink polka dots, solid pink, and two pink flowery ones. Those are my favorites. Great, big, bright fuchsia roses. But don't tell him. Let it be a surprise.

Usually, clothes aren't a big problem for him. Like many guys, he can throw on any old thing: t-shirts he swears used to be white and not holey, though it's hard to imagine how, or underwear that hangs by one last, sorry piece of elastic.

So when Plosh tells me he needs new shirts, I know it must be urgent. I know the shirts hanging in his closet must be worn down to their last six cotton molecules.

And I, being a dutiful wife, set forth on a mission to appropriate suitable garb for my exurban adonis. The shirts were, naturally, on clearance. Marked down so far, it should be a crime. How could any self-respecting metrosexual have passed these up, seeing as how they're all in my very favorite, dizzying shades? These shirts are so loud, my ears are bleeding.

Discerning bargain hunter that I am, I could not allow such trophies of my shopping prowess to go unpurchased. I have them all wrapped up in boxes already. We're celebrating Father's Day a week early because of an upcoming trip (I'll tell you about that some other time) and I truly cannot wait to see the expression on his face.

Best of all, I now won't have to hesitate when he trots out some greenish-beige-ish trousers and asks if it matches a shirt in some shade of dark-blue-but-kinda-like-slate-only-not-as-gray and asks if they go together. I can say, "Pink goes with anything." And really, it does. You don't even have to squint that hard.

Plus, it'll just brighten up his whole wardrobe, dontcha think?

Oh, okay. I didn't really get him pink shirts.

They're lavendar.

Ha ha ha! I'm so funny.

Honey, put down that gun. You know violence doesn't solve anything. Honey? Honey??!!

Comments

[plosh]

If they're pink
then I do think
I'll create a stink
but if they're plum
then I'll stay mum
and play quite dumb

Sorry, I spent the last coupla days reading One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss to Seth.