« Patience, patience | Main | The toddler's Rx for boredom »

August 29, 2004


I had sex on a beach once when I was 18. Manhattan Beach to be exact. I only did it because my then girlfriend said she had done it there with a previous boyfriend and my mature 18 year old self thought that meant we had to do it there too. Highly overrated. Sand and sex don't mix.

Eeewww, sand and sex. Have you had a "Sex on the Beach?" Great drink, and much more comfortable to partake of. You've been to tons of beaches! The only ones I've ever visited are the Florida ones..we had some great Spring Breaks down in Lauderdale when I was a teenager. At least I assume they were great, things are a bit foggy, what with all the Sex on the Beach.

So, does this mean that there are a bunch of topless photos of you out there somewhere?

Not if everyone was too drunk to operate the camera.

Gooch: If you have to have sex on a beach, Manhattan Beach is it. I forgot to put Best Beach to Spot Hotties (of either sex), but that would be my personal pick.

Faith: Nope, haven't tried that particular potion. I did, however, witness the invention of the "Wolf Blitzer" cocktail during the Persian Gulf war by a bunch of drunk journalism students. It definitely did the job, which was more than I can say for ol' Wolfie.

Plosh: Yes, somewhere out there in landfills across North America are fading pictures of my boobies.

OE: Actually, we were very, very stoned. I don't know who got the weed or how, but I actually did a back flip over a boulder and landed tits first in the sand. I still remember the feeling of my head taking several minutes to catch up to my body. By then I was hungry and ate an entire jar of Nutella. I think that was the last time in my life I ever got high.

The comments to this entry are closed.

about me

  • It is good to be the Empress
    ... but, y'know, it's kinda hectic. I blog when I can. Right now, my day's divided this way: keep kids from screaming (8 hrs); keep son from killing daughter (6 hrs); avoid diet (4 hrs); sleep (2 hrs); lay awake fretting (2 hrs); give up and Web surf for a while (1 hr); think about waking hubby for sex (1/2 hr); ponder my career options (15 mins); shudder, begin blog post (15 mins); resume efforts to keep kids from screaming ...
  • My Domain
    Where the heck am I?
  • My Life
    How did I get here?
  • Write Me

Courtiers & courtesans

  • Milkula, the Lacto-Vampire
    My daughter. Alternately known as Mugwort, for a beneficial herb.
  • Minitaur
    My son, a diminutive version of the monster in Greek mythology, aka the Monsterling.
  • Plosh

hire me

  • I'm cheap ...
    ... and desperate. Available for freelance writing, copy editing and creating cool blog toppers. Order now and I'll throw in some sarcasm at no extra charge. Contact anne (at) inlandempress (dot) com.

Fit for a king

  • DadTalk
    An estrogen-free zone for Dads so they can sound off about their roles as parents and protectors. It's run by that handsome genius I married.

Kiddie Litter

  • Book Buds Kidlit Reviews
    A good story grows on a kid; a bad one stinks like a weed. Come see which new children's titles might be worth repeated readings or which ones you can safely shelve.

Nice Jewish blogs

Moms & Dads

Writing Blogs

Writing Sites

This n' that

  • This Mama Cooks
    Anne-Marie of "A mama's rant" tickles our taste buds with recipes and food talk. Yum.
  • Veritas et Venustas
    "Hello, my name is John. I'm a recovering architect."
Blog powered by Typepad