My life in tablecloths

A massive box landed on my doorstep yesterday. Two Minitaurs could’ve hidden in it. My haul: table linens. That’s it. For every size table you can imagine, and every occasion.

Need hand-embroidered cotton tablecloths from Peru? Yes, Peru. Got ‘em, along with matching napkins. English damask? Got that too. You want beige, rose or stark white? Belgian lace—check. Irish linen—check. Tacky ‘70s floral pattern—check. Dry clean only—check.

Yes, my mother has decided to unclutter her life. All the fancy junque I dusted, polished, washed and put away for her throughout my childhood—coveting every last chipped saucer—is finally drifting across the continent to me, crate by crate. Last year, it was her Depression glass collection.

Next year, it’s likely to be hand-painted Czech china or the framed prints from “Occupied Japan” or a silver-plated tea service. And that’s not even touching all the artwork, figurines, LP collection (opera greats, Big Band), family photos and bric-a-brac.

Mom is pleased. I’m overwhelmed. First, there’s the facing-Mom’s-mortality bit, the part about this being her Sunset Years that’s unnerving. If I send it all back, can I buy back a few years? Or forestall the inevitable?

Then there’s the matter of where to put everything. My house, as you’ll recall, is about the size of a thimble, and already stuffed floor to rafters with our very own crap.

There’s always e-Bay, I suppose. Maybe I’ll make enough to buy a bigger house, which will then be empty because I got rid of everything.

I sound ungrateful. I'm not. Guess what? We're serving hot dogs tonight. You think plastic plates go best with rose damask? Or Irish linen?

Comments

[Anne-Marie]

My mom did the same thing when she downsized from a 4-bedroom home to a 2-bedroom apt. You go to my sister's house and it's like walking into my parent's home because she has a great deal of their furniture, artwork and knickknacks (most of the bigger stuff she bought from my mom).

I have some of my parent's artwork, including the watercolors my mom painted. I'm glad I have it - it brings back alot of good memories. But most of the dishware and bakeware I ended up giving to charity. I do have some nice Baccarat port glasses and Tiffany shot glasses, though.

The thing is that my sister and I since we were kids were always planning what we'd get when my mom died. Isn't that sick? I'm getting the Le Crueset cookware and frog knick knack collection. My sister's getting the jewelry. We're rather practical, my sis and I.

If you need any help with eBay let me know. I've been selling on eBay on and off for about 4 years. I did pretty well with the '50s tablecloths that I sold. (I collect '50s stuff but only kept the tablecloths that matched my decor.) I recently sold some depression glass, too (green Boopie) and did very well.

[Anne]

Excellent info re eBay, thanks. I'll email you offline in a few days for more.

Yeah, I did the same sick thing as a kid. "Mom, can I have this when you die?" How sweet.

Bro #3's philosophy is to rent a dumpster and toss it all. Sometimes it's tempting, I must admit.

[Adrian]

Using E-bay can be a bit of a mixed blessing. So far I've only bought on it and so I've no experience of cyber selling. An alternative might be to offer the tablecloths to anyone who might like them in return for them making a donation to a charity of their choice.

[Anne]

I'm probably going to hang onto the tablecloths for a few years. My mother would be furious if she thought I'd sold them. Plus, the hubby and I haven't given up on the bed-and-breakfast idea, so they might come in handy someday. Who knows? The Peruvian ones are kinda funky.