My boobs have discovered I'm pregnant. I'd hoped to keep it a secret from them for another, oh, 7 months or so and then sneak it past them. They'd wake up in the hospital with an infant attached and say, "Whoa, better start lactating!"
But no. They're a little quick out of the gate, you might say. I could feed a whole maternity ward now. Yesterday, they were a hefty but not freakish 34DDD. Sometime during the night
POW
they exploded like airbags.
And tomorrow I'm going to have to dig out the bras from my last pregnancy, which ranged from a comparatively petite 36DDD to a back-breaking 38 I. Did you know bras come in I cups? That means my boobs added 10 inches to my chest measurements.
But by the time my breast milk came in, those particular bras were stretched like teeny bits of dental floss, barely able to cover a freckle.
American lingerie designers do not make a cup larger than size I, even as American women grow steadily more obese and/or silicon-obsessed. You cannot imagine the humiliation of bursting out of a hospital gown. You know, that one-size-fits-everybody-else potato sack?
I don't know why my boobs do this. They're overeager, I guess. Regular cheerleaders for the whole procreation thing, bless their mammoth mammaries.
Yes, I have pictures from last time. No, I'm not going to post them. Sheesh. Is that all you people think about?
Even Minitaur is noticing the difference. We took the rare bath together -- his Daddy was late to work and had to pass -- and he kept pushing my boob away. It kept thwapping him upside his head as he splashed next to me.
It's a long way to July. Sigh.
On the other hand, I'm happy enough.
Posted by: plosh | December 29, 2004 at 08:36 AM
I can soooo relate. I started out as a perky 32C and after my first pg, I was a 34H. Now that baby #2 is here, I was hoping (praying) they (the boobs) wouldn't explode but no such luck. 34H again.
I wonder about the people who go in for surgery to purposely do this to their boobs.
Good luck with your pg!
Posted by: karyn b | December 30, 2004 at 11:08 AM
I'm never complaining again! Both my pregnancies I went from D to DD (or even triple in the serious nursing months). And there I remain, 2 years later. Oh well, the hubby isn't complaining, though my shoulders often do.
Posted by: lapdwife | December 30, 2004 at 07:44 PM
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!! I can't wait until you, too, join the ranks of the great unwashed (as I type this, it's almost 11 a.m. and I'm still waiting for my 1-month-old to stop squirreling around so I can take a guilt-free shower -- assuming she does actually sleep through the whole thing). I am so happy for you and your family! If it's a girl, let me know if you want some hand-me-downs. I have a ton of infant clothes.
About the boobs, though, I must say I'm jealous. After years of flat chestedness, I'm sad to say that neither of my pregnancies required me to move out of my A-cups. Instead, all the expansion went to my belly, making me look like Veruca Salt, that girl from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" who swelled up like a blueberry (except I wasn't blue, except mentally when I thought about my bod). It's just too damn bad you can't spread the wealth a bit.
Let me know when you and Minotaur are up for a playdate!
Posted by: Deb Clark | January 02, 2005 at 12:00 PM
Heh, as a trying to conceive, current 38HH I am so not looking forward to that bit. DBF is VERY looking forward to it =)
Posted by: Kitty | January 04, 2005 at 06:10 AM
Whoops, I somehow missed answering all these comments. Apologies!
Karyn: I think the women who actually want such boobs have no intention of actually using them for what nature intended. Sure, I could carry a few plastic sacs of saline around, it's the danged milk production that kills! Good luck to you too.
lapdwife: Hey, you know how often I heard my hubby say, "You think you have it bad? There's this woman at work ... " You have my permission to hit him.
Deb: Read your email! I sent you a note about getting together. Can't wait to see meet the new addition. Yaaaaay!
Kitty: Hey, good luck. It's hard to know how big your boobs'll get, so you can always hope they don't get too excited. And, yeah, your Significant Other can never be counted on for objectivity in this regard.
Posted by: Anne | January 05, 2005 at 12:09 PM
before i had a baby i was a 36DD and around when i had my baby they grew to a 34JJ!
Posted by: jannet | January 09, 2005 at 10:09 PM
Jannet: Okay, I give up. You win the booby prize. ;-)
Posted by: Anne | January 11, 2005 at 02:33 PM
My dick gets so hard listen you womens complaining about your huge tities. I would love to get breast feed by y'll. yum yum
Posted by: horney jack | October 24, 2005 at 07:01 PM