Happy Blogiversary to me!

Roughly 13 months ago, the hubby sat me down in the stairwell of our home for a heart-to-heart. I forced myself to focus on the dust bunnies in the once-beige carpet so I wouldn't sob while he recounted all the ways I manifested my misery. I'm not a whiner, but I radiated unhappy rays that withered everything in the vicinity.

Did I want therapy, Plosh asked. No. I didn't want to explain to a stranger why I'm ingrateful for our little home in the suburbs a million freaking miles from nowhere when my husband works so hard and my kid is so cute. There were a zillion things I couldn't explain, even to myself. I ran the risk the therapist would be some bright, young thing and not have a single clue what it's like to be the smartest person in any room you enter and still have nothing to say.

My life had gone exactly nowhere. The genius IQ, the elite education, the master's degree, the oodles of creativity, had led me to an abrupt dead end, an unyielding brick wall of suburban doldrums, middle-class mediocrity and simpering self-pity.

Well, you can start a blog, he said.

A what?

It's short for weblog. He explained it as an online journal. I'd tried an electronic journal once on Word and hadn't kept it going for more than a day. This is different, he said. Other people read it. You get an audience. Some people are getting famous this way.

I hesitated. Okay, I said.

I'll research it, Plosh promised. I shrugged. That was obviously the last I'd ever hear of it.

But one year ago today, Inland Empress made its debut. The effect on my family was immediate. Minitaur was left to raise himself, except at naptimes, which were now rigorously enforced. Mommy needs her blog time, I'd tell him, before practically knocking him unconscious. My husband traded my hang-dog expressions for a far-away whistfulness -- he complains I've never actually heard an entire conversation of his.

And I began to turn my despair into something almost funny, finding fodder in the inanities of suburban living, motherhood and my own self-doubts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I'm taking risks and that's something, isn't it?

I learned to love my commenters but not pander to them, to eagerly count hits but not stake my self-esteem on them. They rise, they fall. Life and the blog goes on.

Ah, but Minitaur has stopped napping and I'm once again pressed for time, even as my energy gets sapped by my pregnancy. I've had some second thoughts about the form of the blog, perhaps taking it away from Mommy blogging and serializing a novel online, maybe a fictionalized, satirical version of my life.

But I have something I didn't have a year ago, a sense that there's always another week or month to make a change, to conjure up something funny or sad or true or heartfelt or just goofy.  Last April 15, I sat down and just wrote for that day, that one day, just to see what would happen.

Good things happened.

Happy Birthday, Inland Empress. You're a pain in the butt sometimes, but I love you.

Comments

[plosh]

I love you, too.

[Anne]

Honey, you know I love you. I have thanked you many times in person AND on this blog. Silly.

[Elle]

Happy Blogday Anne!.. Sorry I haven't commented in a while but I've still been checking in :) I can sympathise with the "brick wall syndrome".. I'm not beyond what you peopleses in the US call "college" education yet.. in fact.. i've not started.. but i'm off to do something creative. what exactly i don't know. I've hit this wall of creative.. crud.. nothing. just bleh. both normal art, textiles, web design, graphic design.. it's all just blah.. but alas my life isn't interesting enough to blog about.. i have a blog. it remains a whining place :) and severely out of date. . Anywho.. i digressed muchosness.. happy blogday again Anne and keep on writing, one day you'll be seeing your name on the bestseller's list ;)

[psychotoddler]

Keep doing what you're doing. I never read online fiction. But your blog is wonderful.

[Julia]

Good things happened indeed...here's to many more years of 'em! Happy blogiversary...no matter which way you slice it, 1 year is quite an achievement. My 1-year blogiversary is coming up at the end of this month...further proof that my life seems to be eerily similar to yours. ;)

[Anne]

Elle: Wonderful things are in store for you. You're not supposed to have your life planned out at your age. Some of the most interesting people I know hit 40 and still don't know what they want to be when they grow up. I'd love to read your blog if you ever wish to post the URL. ((hugs))

PT: Many thanks. Just another idea from my restless mind, doesn't mean I'll do it. I throw a lot of stuff at the wall to see what sticks. So far, this has stuck.

Julia: You sure we aren't clones? Happy blogday to you too, and many thanks.

[Lilit]

Happy Blogiversary!

I celebrate my arrival in NY anniversaries... we're at 7 and a half months now. Keep on writing, and I'll be a faithful reader.

[Ontario Emperor]

Happy blogiversary from down under (Interstate 10). The list of categories alone indicates the breadth of this blog, and the breadth of your observations.

I have one question - which came first, Inland Empress or DadTalk?

[Anne]

Lilit: Only 7-1/2 months? You've come a long way in such a short time! I was there 6 years and didn't accomplish half as much. I'll be watching out for you.

OE: IE came first. DadTalk followed after five days or so. We bought an account that allowed for 3 blogs at once, which I eventually used to start BookBuds. Thanks for the compliment too.

[chip]

first comment here, appropriately enough to wish happy blogiversary. By the way, your husband is an amazing guy!

[ursula]

Hello Inland Empress, remember me? I didn't realize that you and I had done about the same amount of time in that swamp they call Florida (4 years) in the '90s. Congrats on escaping, even if it is to the Inland Empire, and on your marriage too! I enjoyed reading some of your unpublished fiction back then, and I'm so glad you've decided to post it on a blog for everyone. I'll be in Redondo Beach this summer (writer-in-residence chez Mom) if you'd ever like to escape from Tantoine and come down and hang out at the ocean. And happy blog anniversary!

[Anne]

Chip: Many thanks, though anyone who puts up with me is pretty amazing.

Ursula: Funny, I just got an email from another Tribune alum. We can have an online reunion! I'll email you offline with a more intelligent response when I get a sec. Thanks for stopping by the blog.

[Lizzie]

De-Lurking to wish you a very happy birthday!

[Anne]

Hey, Liz, welcome back. Hope the Thompson clan is doing well. Thanks for the kind wishes.

[R]

Wotcha, Anne, as we say over here. It's me - the old college friend in London your husband was visiting last week - just thought I'd take a look at your weblog, since he was so proud of it - & with good reason. All my memories of your delicious writing come flooding back after 20 years. Honest, punchy & true to the bone as ever. Will be watching & cheering you on. As I said in my email - we haven't either of 'ended up' anywhere -- yet!