A happy Passover, sort of

We wandered the desert for 14+ hours, which felt like 40 years, and have successfully passed over another Jewish holiday-cum-excuse to complain.

My gracious, always cheerful Mom-in-law hosted us at her home in Scottsdale, Ariz., did all the cooking and indulged me in conducting my first seder, which lasted an entire 30 seconds while the chicken soup cooled on the counter.

She'd forgotten I intended to say a few blessings and had begun serving. Lucky me, I got to play killjoy and make her clear the table.

I spent much of the long weekend giving her reasons to throttle me. The fact that I walked out alive is testament to her generous nature and no doubt her strong desire for another grandchild. For that, some people will put up with anything, even the cyclone that always seems to follow on our heels.

We inadvertently packed the entropy trolls in our luggage and they gleefully fell to the task of wrecking Mom-in-law's condo. First, they flung Minitaur's toys and all our clothes on every inch of space, including chairs. I'd go to plunk my weary self down and land squarely on a shoe or a book. Ouch.

Fortunately, we still had Mom-in-law's lovely white sofa, or it used to be white until she discovered a brand-new stain in the middle. Not sure what it was, but it didn't matter, because Plosh broke one of its legs anyway. He was performing a toddler-ectomy, a delicate operation for extracting a screaming, bedtime-averse pre-schooler from behind the narrow space between sofa and wall.

A closet door collapsed, spilling its contents into the hallway. We discovered -- the hard way -- that her new dishwasher had never been properly anchored to the wall. She bought us food we didn't eat, and we bought more food we forgot and left behind, which she doesn't eat.

After four days, Mom-in-law subtly let us know that the only thing that made her happier than seeing us, was to see us go.

Can you blame her?

Considering she didn't have to buy airline tickets or rent a car or a hotel room, this was probably a very expensive visit for her.

Which just proves that plagues are a relative thing, Biblically speaking.

Comments

[chip]

what a great post, I'm roflmao, it sounds too too reminiscent of various holidays/visits we've spent with my own inlaws. With us, there are three inlaws since my wife has a very complicated family. And the three have varying degrees of formality and "properness". And of course the disasters happen at the most formal of the three homes, the toddler vomit on the formal couch, broken furniture, food rubbed into carpets, etc. Well at least your home now where you don't have to worry about things like that (right?)...

[Ontario Emperor]

When at all possible, I try to ensure that my visits to someone else don't exceed a week. That's for their sanity, and mine.

[plosh]

Sadly, we did all that damage in just three or so days.

[Anne]

Chip: What, me worry? I'm about as proper as mud pie. Though having visitors to OUR home sends us in a frenzy of last-second cleaning, out of fear they'll catch something deadly and sue us.

OE: A week is about three days longer than I can stand being in someone else's home, no matter how squeaky clean and welcoming.