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December 21, 2005


Translation: When travelling on company business, please do not get drunk on the contents of the mini-bar, stay up all night ordering adult movies and then expect them to be covered on expenses.

I think it has something to do with a portable tooth brush that can also be used as a hair care device, but I'm not sure.

my favorite bumper sticker:

eschew obfuscation

Best I can tell, it is an instruction manual for company travelers who want lap dances from cross-dressers with implants. Better suited to interpretive dance than writing, I would imagine...

We are theoretically asking you to read the attached, but we know that most of you will ignore it anyway (except for the busybody on the third floor who arranges her thumbtacks by color). Way back at the beginning of the year, one of our senior vice presidents suffered from indigestion, which resulted in the formation of a committee to figure out how [Inland Empress' friend's name deleted] managed to run up a $17,000 bill on a one-night trip to Stockton, California. This committee was populated by people who were unable to avoid it, and was chaired by the brother-in-law of the aforementioned busybody. After several months of weekly meetings in conference room B, followed by a two day session in Stockton, California (which, coincidentally enough, resulted in a $17,000 expense), the committee has produced the obfuscatory work that you are about to read. Or not.

Attached you will find a copy of Behemoth Media's updated Travel and Entertainment Policy. The updated policy is a product of inputs from a cross-functional, cross-business unit employee travel commodity council that was formed earlier this year. The policy provides informative data to educate employees of what is expected when traveling/entertaining on company business.

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