y husband is one of these people who's deathly afraid of needles. The dentist had to give him Valium before a Novocaine injection, and even so he got all nervous and queasy. So when I broached the subject of getting Milkula's ears pierced, I worried more about my big baby than my little one.
Naturally, I did what any loving, respectful wife would do, and got it done behind his back. Heh.
It was an operation worthy of the CIA, only I like to think more competently performed.
First, I had to persuade Minitaur he needed another train from the Thomas the Idiot Engine set, or whatever it's called. This took about .00001 seconds, even when I insisted he use his "allowance" money, which consists of him picking his father's pockets every night.
We shook out $40 in quarters from a ceramic bank in the shape of a fire engine. How did my son come to have more cash than his ol' lady?
So off we go to Victoria Gardens, which, despite my protests, is an attractive mall even if cars do run through it, which is just about the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I mean, geez, drivers just do not remember how to share the road any longer. They haven't successfully made room for pedestrians in about 30 years -- I don't even think they teach it in driver's ed any longer -- and then you let them careen through a friggin' mall? And make them parallel park?
Anyway.
We somehow survived the onslaught of impatient parkers and made our way to a Thomas the Torpor-inducing Tank Engine store there. I let Minitaur act out his aggressions on the displays before he proudly offered up several pounds of coinage for Percy, Thomas' gay lover best friend.
But I felt sure Minitaur would need further convincing to come along to a jewelry store with me, so I bought him a Hot Dog on a Stick, just about the best food innovation since, well, anything else on a stick.
Finally, it came time to do the dirty deed, to bring Operation Gold Stud to a successful close and get my agent in from the cold and change her diaper. Or something like that.
We went to a junque jewelry shop called Claire's. Milkula perched in my lap, and then Minitaur wanted to do so too and screamed. He fussed more than she did.
I chose simple 3mm gold studs. First one ear, and a heckuva lot of squawling and wriggling later, with my arms pinning her in place, we did the other ear. Then I held her up to a mirror and she was too entranced by her own pulchritude to cry.
Girls. Geez.
Then I made the mistake of trying to pick out a few more earrings for her. I hear a door jingle and my son is wheeling the stroller out onto the sidewalk. "Time to go, Mommy!"
Um, gotta pay first, sweetie.
"No, it's time to go!"
Men just don't have that shopping instinct, do they?
Somehow I managed to pay, grab the earrings, my red-earred daughter, my red-faced son and the stroller and make it back to the car without getting run over and with only one or two more screaming fits (from my son, naturally).
The baby snoozed all the way home.
My husband made grimacing faces when he came home.
It's been three weeks and the baby looks adorable. Nobody mistakes my baldy for a boy anymore, and my husband has stopped fainting at the sight of her.
And my son's announced he wants another Thomas the Twit Engine.
Name's Boles. Anne Boles. Agent 007-3/4.
Heh.
I snuck off to the mall when I was 12 to get my ear pierced, bringing along my older brother to act as my "guardian" to sign whatever permission slips were needed. They, of course, didn't buy it, so I had to return with my mother which sort of ruined the whole counter-culture, rebelliousness aspect I was aiming for.
Posted by: Gooch | February 03, 2006 at 10:31 AM
I readily admit to enjoying Thomas. Most of those toys are quiet and that is a big bonus these days.
No bells, whistles or horns.
Posted by: Jack | February 03, 2006 at 10:39 AM
Gooch: Yeah, my mother pierced my ears with hypodermic needles and ice cubes. Talk about taking the fun out of it.
Jack: Oh, I like them a lot, actually. They're the best toys he has, and it's amazing to see how much they spark his imagination. I just like to poke fun, especially since we've sunk so much money into them.
Posted by: Anne | February 03, 2006 at 11:30 AM
I've been stuck with so many needles since that one dental adventure, I don't care anymore.
Our girl does look cute even though someone used a hole punch on her ears.
Posted by: plosh | February 03, 2006 at 04:43 PM
I'm like your husband. I have to tell the nurses that I faint when they take blood. I'm woozy just reading this.
And nice re-design!
Posted by: Neil | February 03, 2006 at 05:16 PM
Many thanks, Neil. I had fun fiddling around with it.
Posted by: Anne | February 04, 2006 at 03:55 PM
You know your so is going to want those pierced ears too.
Posted by: Randi(cruisin-mom) | February 05, 2006 at 06:42 PM
ooops! *son*
Posted by: Randi(cruisin-mom) | February 05, 2006 at 06:43 PM
Me? I'm all for it. The hubby? Over his dead body.
Posted by: Anne | February 05, 2006 at 08:28 PM
In all *my* blogging about Victoria Gardens, I neglected to mention the car thingie. When I first visited Victoria Gardens within a few weeks of its opening, all of the streets were shut down because of the crowds. If I recall correctly, they were also shut down that first Christmas. But I don't think they've been shut down since.
American and European countries differ in regard to their respect for pedestrians. In 2000, I spent a couple of weeks in Switzerland, and the cars there would stop even if I was thinking about getting anywhere near the street. The day after I returned I was in an Albertson's parking lot and nearly got clobbered when I forgot that I wasn't in Switzerland any more.
Has Falwell outed Percy yet?
I'm with Plosh on the earrings for boys thing.
Posted by: Ontario Emperor | February 06, 2006 at 02:14 PM
I don't understand why anybody pierces a baby's ears. Don'tcha have enough difficulties already? I wasn't allowed to get mine pierced until I was old enough to take care of them myself.
I'm needle-phobic like Plosh. How do you get doctors to give you sedatives? They always just torture me callously, heedless of my terrified screams. Relax... yeah right!
Posted by: Kiwi the Geek | March 27, 2006 at 10:51 PM
Hi all,
I'm almost 37 and deathly scared of needles...not of the pain but b/c I faint all the time b/c I get nervous before a needle. I had my ears pierced when I was 5 but asked my mom to take them out and never got them done again - now as an adult I'm dying to get them pierced again but won't b/c I'm scared of fainting! Can anyone suggest how I can get this done without fearing I'll faint?
Posted by: Lisa | June 12, 2006 at 11:25 AM